bathing-suits

Swimsuit Torture Part II: Call the Paramedics

My objective was to make swimsuit shopping as painless as possible. The environment would be key. I needed a calm store with wide open aisles, soft music, helpful salespeople. Crawling under a disheveled clothing rack, searching for the elusive bottom to the perfect top, or wrenching it from the clutches of a woman who believed […]

bathing suit

Bathing Suit Torture. Part I

If there’s a downside to taking a trip to Barbados in April, for a week of repose on an idyllic beach, that thing would be the premature torture of bathing suit shopping. Of course one could argue, why go bathing suit shopping? You’re going to a tiny island in the Caribbean, not the town pool. […]

How to make cleaning toilets more enjoyable.

How to make cleaning toilets more enjoyable.

In an effort to make cleaning toilets more enjoyable, I’ve made a game out of it. I recommend you try this; it’s endless fun. After playing this game with some regularity and frequency, I’ve been forced to do a bit of soul searching and I’ve come to realize I’ll never be a hall-of-famer at this […]

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California Chrome’s Personal Stylist Comes Clean on the Nasal Strips

I shouldn’t tell you this, but as California Chrome’s personal stylist, my name is being dragged through the mud over this nasal strip fiasco, and I need to tell my story before People Magazine hears it elsewhere. Full disclosure: C.C. is my first horse client. However, I’m no stranger to four-leggers with a discerning pedigree. […]

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Thermostat Troubles

Don’t you just hate those freezing cold nights when you wear your warmest flannel pajamas and thickest socks and hurry into bed but are still surprised by the smack of cold that comes off the sheets, so you pull the blankets up to your chin, even that one at the foot of the bed—you yank […]

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Have I got a story for you!

A friend of mine came over for a glass a wine the other night and while she took her coat off at the front door, I noticed a creepy looking bug on the ceiling. She volunteered to “remove the bug” if I got her a step stool. Our ceilings are kind of tall and even […]

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The Carry-On Challenge: a new way to pack travel clothes

The last time I packed for a trip to Europe I was going to Italy to attend a writers conference in Positano. Traveling there from New Jersey would necessitate a flight to Rome and another to Naples, then a drive down the steep, winding, breathtaking roadways to Positano. Before my trip, the very mention of […]

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I Never Lie About My Age, Intentionally

Once, for a whole year I claimed to be older than I was. A doctor’s receptionist corrected me. My “birthdate” and “age” didn’t match up. It’s not that I have a strict policy about not lying; it’s just that I don’t think one’s age represents all that much so I don’t get too hyperbolic about […]

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How I Forgave Jamie Oliver

If you have the time and the patience, and room in your heart to forgive chef Jamie Oliver for referring to his Crispy and Sticky Chicken Thighs with Squashed New Potatoes and Tomatoes as a “simple pan-baked chicken dish” then I encourage you to try this recipe. But for God’s sake, know up front that […]