Donald Trump Prepares for First Round of: Who Wants to be the President?


photo by Gage Skidmore Going into the final hours of preparation for Monday night’s Double Your Chances round of Who Wants to Be the President?, we were given a sneak peek into Donald Trump’s grueling preparation. Just this morning, the Trump camp learned that there’d be no Celebrity Questions, as they were expecting. If not … Continue reading Donald Trump Prepares for First Round of: Who Wants to be the President?

Theory of the Field Hockey Stick is Revealed


  Can’t they make those field hockey sticks longer? All that hunching. Those poor girls. Who can hunch for that long? My back hurts just watching them. Think of all that lower back pain. And how can they run properly while hunching? They can’t. They try, but maximum speed? Not a chance. And has anyone … Continue reading Theory of the Field Hockey Stick is Revealed

Donald Trump to CNN and FOX: You’re Fired!


photo by Gage Skidmore Sources close to the presidential candidate claim that Trump’s problem with CNN and FOX is “they’re morons.” In an effort to be represented in the most honest and fair light, it is reported that Trump has just bought his own network: Trump That Media. Donald Trump blames his slide in the … Continue reading Donald Trump to CNN and FOX: You’re Fired!

An Open Letter to Pigs (And Other Picky Eaters)


photo by David Merrett Dear Pigs, By the way, may I call you that? Pigs? It’s meant with the utmost respect, and after all, it is your name. Believe me, pig. I’ve never used your name in vain when referring to perverts or sleazeballs. I don’t know who started that. Uncool. Nor have I ever … Continue reading An Open Letter to Pigs (And Other Picky Eaters)