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California Chrome’s Personal Stylist Comes Clean on the Nasal Strips

I shouldn’t tell you this, but as California Chrome’s personal stylist, my name is being dragged through the mud over this nasal strip fiasco, and I need to tell my story before People Magazine hears it elsewhere. Full disclosure: C.C. is my first horse client. However, I’m no stranger to four-leggers with a discerning pedigree. […]

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My Secret Hair Fantasy

I will let you in on a little secret. I sometimes fantasize that someday all human beings will be born bald. Okay, I know, a sizable percentage of humans are currently born bald. But I mean, stay bald. Like, never grow hair. An entire hairless human race. You might think a comment like that would […]

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Thermostat Troubles

Don’t you just hate those freezing cold nights when you wear your warmest flannel pajamas and thickest socks and hurry into bed but are still surprised by the smack of cold that comes off the sheets, so you pull the blankets up to your chin, even that one at the foot of the bed—you yank […]

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Have I got a story for you!

A friend of mine came over for a glass a wine the other night and while she took her coat off at the front door, I noticed a creepy looking bug on the ceiling. She volunteered to “remove the bug” if I got her a step stool. Our ceilings are kind of tall and even […]

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The Cicadas are Here! (Now leave.)

photo by David Hill Seventeen years ago−the last time the Periodical Cicadas reared their creepy, red-eyed heads−I was living in New York City. I’ve existed, my entire life, unaware of this species of critter. All that has changed. Now I live in New Jersey, and when I heard that the “cicadas were coming,” I had […]

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My Maiden Voyage in Girdle Top Pantyhose

Must they be called that? Geez. I plucked a package from the display rack and quickly slid my thumb over the words Girdle Top, while hunching my shoulders around the cardboard package. The g-word made me cringe. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten myself in this position. It brought back a vision of my grandmother, a […]

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My Six Days on Broadway: Crossed by a Golightly Cat

I really needed the work, otherwise, trust me, I wouldn’t have taken a job as a personal assistant to a cat. Not even if it’s starring in Breakfast at Tiffany’s on Broadway. First of all, I’m deathly allergic−within twenty minutes of being around a cat, my eyelids will look like cheese doodles. I’m teary, puffy and […]

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Fashion Designers Microbe-Manage NY Fashion Week

It’s hard to believe, but the same folks who’ve instigated fashion induced bunions, sciatica, sprained ankles, deep vein thrombosis, acid reflux, yeast infections and constipation, have concocted ways to avert colds and flu during NY Fashion Week crunch time. The fashion industry might’ve been in typical panic mode, but this year the 2013 Fall Collections […]

Got Multiples? Baby Names for a Brood

Got Multiples? Baby Names for a Brood

Practically every time I turn on the computer, I see this headline: “Hottest Baby Names for 2013.” I could’ve used that fourteen years ago when I was pregnant with my first. I knew for nine whole months that a baby would be coming at the end of it, sufficient enough time to figure out a […]