Winter is a (Big Fat) Liar

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photo by Luigi Torreggiani

Winter drags its massive lumbering heels on its way to meet Spring. Its hair has grown long, its thick woolly layers are tattered and dirty. Spring should be close, should be here, but it’s impossible to see. Not with Winter’s defiant air—harsh and billowing, relentless—it bullies the sweet, green Spring away.

Winter fingers the baton tight in its grasp. Teasing. Torturing. It curls its grip narrower while its gate is weighed down with spite and beef stew. In the thick of Winter are roasts and chowders. Noodles and gratins soothe the deepest darkest cold. Desserts piled high with whipped cream, warm pies, chortle at Spring. Arrogant. Impudent. As though they’ll never meet. Layers of comfort expand under Winter’s heavy coats; then Winter’s promise goes cold. Threatening to turn its shoulder on Spring. Snuff it with one gruff callused hand. Groaning, moaning. Solace is taken in crackling fires and down blankets, cassoulets and buttered biscuits.

Then, out of the grey—without the slightest hint—while deep in slumber, a bird appears. On the sill of Spring. A song in its breast. Feathers flitting in a sliver of sun. Spring has arrived! In a wink. With every color. The brightest clearest sounds. Warm air. Wool lies in puddles on the floor. But Winter has left souvenirs. What to do with those now?

Forgot Your Password? Click Here.

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photo by Meme Binge

Nestled peacefully under my comforter, I heard my bedroom door swoosh open with a sense of urgency. A second later, inches from my head, I heard, “Honey!” It was my husband’s aggressive whisper. The kind that’s meant to be in a hushed tone but comes out louder than a normal speaking voice.

I was in that perfectly-aligned-body-parts guaranteed-deep-glorious-sleep position. My limbs were at the melting-into-the-mattress stage. My mind was not far behind my body, already in a half-doze. The timing was crucial. I couldn’t move a muscle, lest I wake myself up. That included my mouth. Responding to my husband would be limited. A grunt was all I could offer.

He took the grunt as a sign to converse. “There’s a parental lock on one of the TV channels. What’s that about? When did we have a parental lock? What’s the code?” continue reading

 

A Nightmare Author Reading Saved by Rachael Ray

Last night I had a nightmare that I was at the Cornelia Street Café to do a reading from my novel. I stood at the microphone on the small stage in front of a packed house. I had just been introduced to the audience, and in the wane of the applause I was horrified to discover I had forgotten to bring my book. In a panic, I rummaged through my handbag in front of everyone. No book. In fact, my bag was virtually empty. How could I leave my house with an empty handbag? Terror mounted as the patrons settled into an attentive quiet. All eyes were on me. Sweat began to spew from my every pore. The reading was to last twenty minutes; what was I to do? I took one last futile look into my handbag and found one single sheet of paper. continue reading

 

From the real reading:

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Kindle Countdown Deal for THE MEMORY BOX

photo by Seth Dodson

photo by Seth Dodson

Don’t quote me on this, but someone just told me that you can get the Kindle version of The Memory Box today for only $2.99. That’s crazy. All the thrills, chills, twists and turns for $2.99?? AND the shocking ending?? Well, no. Sadly, you don’t get the last chapter for that special price of $2.99. But still, that’s a great buy. Only kidding! Of course you get the last chapter! But sadly, that’s ALL you get. You don’t get the beginning. Or the middle. But still, that’s a freaking amazing price. Only kidding! Of course you get the whole dang thing! The thrills, chills, twists, turns, AND the shocking ending. Now that’s what I call an unpassupable, freaking amazing great deal. AND did you know that you can read a Kindle on any device? Yes. Yes you can. Just download the Kindle app. And Viola! or Voila! (I always mix up those two, but thought I’d leave it for all you flower and/or string instrument lovers out there…) Just download the app and Bam! you can be reading The Memory Box before lunch. Or, if you’re like me, you’ve already eaten lunch, so, before dinner!

photo by Meg

photo by Meg

Which is the best time to start reading a book because then you’ll have the rest of the night to read. Which you’ll want — to get to the shocking ending.