My Secret Hair Fantasy

photo by The Webhamster

photo by The Webhamster

I will let you in on a little secret. I sometimes fantasize that someday all human beings will be born bald. Okay, I know, a sizable percentage of humans are currently born bald. But I mean, stay bald. Like, never grow hair. An entire hairless human race. You might think a comment like that would come from someone living in eternal hair hell. Thankfully, I pretty much have okay hair. I have my fair share of bad hair days, but I also have a decent amount of good hair days to hang my hat on. And when those happen, I feel great.

That’s part of my problem with hair. Why do I need a good hair day to feel good about myself? That’s nuts. Hair? It’s an appendage for god sakes. My feet never make me feel any better or worse about myself. (Unless, of course, Lord and Taylor is having a huge shoe sale and my amply-sized feet won’t fit into any of them.) So why is hair so important? Of course there are all sorts of twists and turns of daily life which diminish or pad our happiness levels. Things we can control and things we can’t. So why let something as frivolous as hair impact our mood, our self-esteem, our confidence?

Apart from spending a fortune on hair – to curl or straighten it, dye it, perm it, style it, shine it, wax it, iron, extend, remove, highlight, process, tweeze, thread or weave it, etcetera, think of the hours spent on our hair. And sadly, most of the time after it’s “done,” we will likely say—we hate it.

Certain assumptions are made about people based on their hair. Don’t shake your head, you know it’s true. Sometimes these assumptions turn out to be not so wrong. But most of the time, it’s just another way we judge people.

Although at first glance this may seem like something of a girl problem, men are just as vulnerable in the hair department. Some guys have too much. Some guys have too little. When I was a teen, I knew a couple of guys whose egos took a beating from thick curly hair. In the 70’s there were few flattering options. Cut it short? Grow it long?

What about people who lose their hair after medical interventions? Do they really need to feel any additional hardships? Now they have to worry about how to deal with something as inconsequential as hair! Navigating the challenges of life is hard enough. I believe it would be much better for everyone to never have hair. Do we really need it? You live in Minnesota? Throw on a hat! You’re a Brooklyn Nets cheerleader? Work on choreography! You’re a hair stylist? Sorry.

Let’s admire people for reasons that matter. If we were all bald, it would be easier to look past the outside and regard people because they’re interesting, humorous, ambitious, inventive, kind, resourceful, dynamic, determined, talented, tenacious, inspiring, nurturing. Not because they have the perfect shiny bob.

The Artform of Uncertainty

photo by rromer

photo by rromer


Is it even any good at all?

I’m sure this is not the thing I should be thinking at this stage of the game. Within the last sixteen months, I’ve read hundreds of articles on ‘Marketing for the Self-Published Author’ and none of the advice said to doubt yourself moments before the release of your book. Moreover, doubting yourself publicly is most assuredly an epic fail.

But if I know anything about writers, that’s exactly what we do.

Why is it that confidence and healthy egos are wasted on athletes, politicians and surgeons? Okay, it’s not wasted on surgeons. We all want surgeons to be super-duper confident. But what about us creative types? Why is it not in our genes? Or is it the other way around? Does our roughed-up self-esteem guide us to choose the arts to torture us, I mean express ourselves?

I don’t need the kind of swagger Rambo has. I’d do fine with just a sliver. I’m a little skeptical of people at the other end of the bold-barometer anyway. But it’s my initial reaction to the overly-confident type that always surprises me. For instance, let’s say I’m in the park and I’m sharing a bench with someone I don’t know. It’s a beautiful day and I say aloud, “Wow, the sky is so blue.” And the stranger turns to me and says, “Blue? Where? You mean green, right? That’s the greenest sky I’ve ever seen! The most perfect green. The kind of green sky you only see in movies. Did you say blue?! That’s crazy.” My first reaction to this, as I sit with my mouth open, looking up at the sky and then back down at this pigment-pundit, would not be ‘what kind of smug, aggressively stupid, color-blind crazy no-holding-back impolite stranger is this?’ like maybe it should be. Instead my first thought would probably be, ‘Hmm, green? Could I have been wrong all these years?’

Maybe the very fact that the arts are subjective and open to interpretation and judgment is the very reason artists fear they may not be understood or appreciated. After all, a stock trader has either a winning day or a losing day, a sharp shooter makes his target or doesn’t. There’s no judgment there. If someone hits a homerun in the extra innings of a nail-biter, no one is gonna say it was a lousy homerun.

But a song or a painting or a book or a dance. There will be plenty of interpretations and accolades and criticisms. Everyone will have a unique opinion. I will see something you don’t; you’ll be moved by something that I’ve already forgotten. Art speaks to our personal experiences, whether they are dreams or fears, accomplishments or vulnerabilities. It has the power to bring people together, to heal, to inspire, to stir, to challenge, to shock, to intrigue, to entertain.

Oh, yeah.

I can do that.

Guest Post on Change it Up Editing

I’m thrilled to be guest blogging today over at changeitupediting.com, where I reveal a few of my writing secrets, namely how I’ve wriggled out a few creative blocks. Come on over and check it out and share your own tales of creative inspiration. While you’re there, indulge yourself in the some wonderful writing insights of editor Candace Johnson. Here’s to a prolific 2014!

The Long and Short on Memory

photo by Adrian Serghie

photo by Adrian Serghie

How’s your memory?

Certainly, if you’re anything like me you’ve probably had questions like these pop up from time to time: What’s her name again? Where do I know him from? Why did I open this closet? Where did I put my keys? What’s her phone number?

Some forgetfulness is innocent and normal and happens to everyone no matter their age. Some forgetfulness is more serious, or is a sign of more serious problems to come. Regardless, memory loss at the very least is frustrating and at the worst, tragic.

Personally, I’ve been concerned about my poor memory since I was in my twenties. I developed what I refer to as “police paranoia.” If while driving I’d see a police car in my rearview mirror, I always feared I’d be pulled over and questioned for something I had no recollection of doing. Okay, I’ll admit that’s a little extreme, paranoid and wacky (and perhaps a sign of something else I should be worried about!). But on the positive side, I used this crazy sense of imagination and my own memory paranoia to write my debut suspense novel, The Memory Box, due to release early 2014, about a suburban mom who Googles herself and discovers a past she’s unaware of.

In research for my book, I became intrigued about memory and the advances in science to thwart or reverse memory loss. And that’s why I decided to launch a new blog: thelongandshortonmemory.com. It will feature news from around the world about the complexity and prevalence of memory loss and groundbreaking advances on reversing it.

Why have I chosen to curate news on memory? Simply put, I’m fascinated by the topic and concerned for my own. And while I used to be reluctant to admit my own shortcomings, the more I do, the more I discover others with similar experiences.

It’s also true that memory loss is afflicting more people now than ever. Whether it’s hereditary, stress or poor diet, pregnancy or menopause, early onset due to repeated head injuries, or even cultural changes, more and more people complain of memory loss. Even our reliance on computer search engines, like Google, has affected our ability to remember facts.

You’ll also find personal stories from people who’ve experienced firsthand how memory loss can deeply affect the course of one’s life or that of a loved one. If you have a story to tell, please contact me, I’d love to give it a home on thelongandshortonmemory.com.

The first post is a positive one on the power of nostalgia. I hope you’ll check it out and please stop by often. Or at least whenever you remember to.

Visit here: thelongandshortonmemory.com